So last night it hit me...Kate is not going to be my only baby in a week. I've known this as a literal fact, but the emotional impact of it was really hard to take in. For the past 2 years she has been our baby girl and everything we do rotates around what is best for her. I can't imagine her having to share that pedistool with anyone else, but maybe it's time she did. She gets so much of my undivided attention and I'm afraid that she will start to feel like #2 when Elle gets here. Josh was super supportive of my crying, snotty (i have a real snot problem when I start crying...I can put away almost an entire box of Kleenex), meltdown that I had last night, and talked about ways we can be sure to show Kate that she is still our top priority, but that Elle is too. Have I said what a wonderful man he is...he really is the best husband in the world!
I have heard my friends talk about the fear of not being able to love your second like your first and I am now experienceing that for myself. I know that when she gets here I'll be so completely in love with her (that's how we felt with Kate), but it's hard RIGHT now because I can't wrap my mind around how I will love 2 the same.
I guess I'm having fear and anxiety at this point. I think it's normal, I think it means the reality of all of this is finally setting in for the first time, and I know that the Lord is faithful and will get me through this.
The countdown continues...
Thursday, January 15, 2009
6 more days...
Posted by KerrisKorner at 10:51 AM
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4 comments:
Kerri, I agree -- it is hard to imagine loving two (before Sara, I wasn't even sure how to deal with loving a baby and a dog -- how stupid does that sound?!). Now the dog has taken the backseat, of course, but it's hard to look down the road and imagine loving a second baby so much. But you are a wonderful mommy and I know there will be no shortage of love in your home. I think it will be fun for you and Josh to watch Kate learn to love in a new capacity. You'll be so proud to see her loving on her little sister!
Thinking of you during this last week. I'm just hanging around if you need any company or a lunch date before Elle arrives!
I have found that you love them both, but for completely different reasons. They are two separate individuals, and you'll be astounded at their different personalities. Don't freak out if Kate doesn't like Elle after the first couple of weeks...Aubrey hated Addy, but now they can't live without each other. :)
PS- I tagged you: http://watkinsfam.blogspot.com/2009/01/honest-scrap.html
It is SO normal! Just take comfort that we have all been there before as well...your heart just grows.
After a few days you will be thinking...I love them both so much, but I need a nap or how do I do this with 2 different schedules! That was the hardest part for me!
Hey Kerri! You guys are in our prayers as you head to the hospital tomorrow to welcome baby Elle! I pray for a smooth delivery and quick recovery. And do not worry about being able to love them both....it is amazing how God grows your heart to include this 2nd little person into your home and family. There is more room there than you could ever imagine! And like someone else said, it is unbelievable how different your 2 children can be and yet so much alike. I cannot wait to hear all the wonderful Elle stories just like you have wonderful Kate stories to share! Good luck and we cannot wait to see pictures!
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